BettyBlueMenz Perspectives: The person i loved, loved someone else
It’s funny how things often don’t turn out the way we imagine they would. The good book say failed expectations make the heart sick. Very true; when expectations don’t match our reality the natural result is inner pain.
But sometimes we are able to ignore the reality or at least pretend the reality is non-existent and we live our lives as if none of it mattered.
Then there are other times when we keep hope alive and our anticipation takes root and grows over the long period of waiting and hoping for fate to give us a better deal.
Hope is exciting at certain times, but the waiting also gets painful as the weeks, months and years slip by without the expectation materializing. Reality then sets in and we soon realize the over-bloated hope of a better deal does not always deliver our expectations. Hope could truly become a blind fold to the reality that stares us in the face daily.
It is important to be positive, but it’s just as important to be realistic. It’s necessary that we understand there is a chance of our expectation or its opposite happening. The more you accept that there is always a chance that things may not go the way you think they would, the less likely you are to be caught trapped on depression when the worse happens.
Unfortunately, I’ve come to learn the hard way that sometimes, no matter how aware we are that things may not work out, there is no such thing as enough mental preparation. Not all of our hopes and dreams are going to come true. It hurts to see a dream fizzle into thin air right in front of your eyes. But that is just the reality of life.
And if that dream is a future with someone we truly love, our world will be turned upside down, particularly when that person falls in love with someone else. It can kill. I know this because it almost killed me.
Now here is a Betty Blue Menz Perspective; I’ve been in love with the same guy for a while now. He was the one I always believed I’d end up with. I was convinced that no matter how many times we messed things up, we’d eventually come back to each other.
We have broken up for a while now, but recently, I had the opportunity I’d been dreaming of; we had another chance to give things a shot, it seemed. But I soon learned he run to me because he was running away from someone else, the woman he now loves.
She’s no good for him, but he has strong feelings for her and it makes me jealous and angry whenever I call and his line is busy. We are not exactly back together but the suspicion that he might be on the phone with the no good lady makes me angry.
I tried loving others, but my heart wouldn’t allow me because it is so attached to a heart that will never be mine. My relationship with others never worked out. I guess that’s why it was extremely difficult to see him in love with another woman. I thought that if I couldn’t find love again, he must feel the same way.
When we were together, I believed he would love me for the rest of his life, as I loved him. I clearly remember the exact moment when the thought that our love would live forever crossed my mind. I was loss for words, but that obviously wasn’t meant to be. Here am I today with tears in my eyes cursing the day I set my eyes on him. I have managed to close the door on a love affair that changed my life and taught me lessons that will forever stay with me. If not for anything at all, at least I now know the things I should not do, if I want a beautiful and lasting love relationship. The details of those lessons is for another day.
I can now look forward with hope that God himself will give me someone I can call my own. I trust that the lesson from the past will be valuable nuggets of wisdom to guide me into a beautiful and lasting relationship. One part of me hopes this will happen soon, but another part is willing to wait for God’s timing; for the good book says “…in his time he makes all things beautiful…”
I rest my case here…