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Feature: Conversations with a Christian girl

It’s always a tricky affair chatting with a Christian girl. And oh, by Christian girl I don’t mean the one who goes to church, listens to the preaching halfheartedly and can’t wait to shaa photo near the pulpit when service is over. Yeah, you know one like that right? You wanna tag them? That’s entirely up to you.

What I mean is that girl with a weekly schedule that looks something like this: 1. Monday (evening): Youth Meeting

2. Tuesday (evening) : Roses of Sharon Ladies meeting

3. Wednesday (afternoon): Breakthrough Encounter. This is usually her lunchtime.

4. Wednesday (evening): Mid-week service

5. Thursday (afternoon): Evangelism. Yep, you guessed right, it’s her lunchtime too.

6. Friday Night: No. She’s not sleeping over. It’s all night.

7. Saturday evening: Choir practice/rehearsals

8. You didn’t think she would be available for Sunday Omotuo right?

That’s the kind I am talking about. So, a girl like that meets a Nigga whose church attendance can best be likened to the dots on a Scatter graph, and things take a whole new level.

It is often a challenge chatting with such ladies especially when they like you and enjoy your company. There’s something to be said about this “unlikely” union of good meets not-so-good.

Must be that the Nigga is just fun to be with and says stuff the sisteren don’t get to read from the Bible. Kinda like showing them another side of life the four corners of the chapel have kept away from them. Unlike Brother John who is always yapping away at scriptures anytime he calls.

Most church girls don’t often like to roll with their fellow chrife brothers. Most say they find them pretentious and boring. I don’t know about this; I ain’t a Christian lady.

But for all the fun that a Nigga can be to a Christian girl, it must be said that it can often be an uphill task to the Nigga.

The best thing such a lady can ask for (from God), is a Nigga who knows scripture. Oh, it is orgasmic to them! It means he can probably be a fun boyfriend/husband too.

But to the Bible quoting dude, it can be a bit of a problem. Quote too much scripture and she falls for you a bit deeper. Talk nasty and she thinks you are too profane for her sanctified ears.

Such a tasking balancing act being good and bad at the same time to a Christian girl.

Usually, when the matter of favorite color comes up, a Nigga can’t be too sure what the intent is all about. A Christian girl who keeps asking a Nigga about his favorite color, is probably sewing his wedding attire! Us Niggas gotta be careful.

A Christian girl is like a beautiful rose flower. Beautiful and lovely to look at. Smells good too. All we wanna do is admire it for what it is. We don’t want to pluck that. No Nigga wants to go through his short life with such a burden of guilt on his head. No. We have enough sins to deal with already. If you think I am telling untruth, talk to Agye Man.

Be careful when chatting with a Christian girl. For all you know you are her prayer topic; bad as you may be.

 Lorm Afuti

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